FWIW;
When my oldest died, I remember the feeling of grief as it hit me in my midsection. I felt like someone had blown a cannonball through there, and it physically hurt. I would bend over to try to stop the pain. It was hard to breathe because of the pain.
When I saw Cindy bent over today, the pain came back. I instantly understood her physical pain, and how she was trying to get it under control.
Anything can trigger this pain. A song heard over the supermarket speakers you remember the loved one liking, a smell you associate with them, coming upon a faded photo in a drawer. For me, I couldn't look at the freeway sign that showed the direction to the town where she died. It took me 8 years to be able to drive by that sign.
Every time, it ripped open the wound all over again. I tried to put the pain away in a little box inside. I hated when something opened it up in an instant, catching me completely off guard, and making me weep uncontrollably.
To have to listen to this tape, unbearable. Cindy's gut was shot through all over again, and she physically suffered the pain even more because of all that has come out in this trial. The only way to relieve it is to wail it away until you are exhausted.
Please pray for Cindy and George. They have made so many mistakes in trying to deal with this horrible mess, and must have regrets so deep that recovery will be so much harder than those of us who lost a child from disease, real accident, or other sudden event.
Casey has put them through hell on earth.
And, pray that none of our children ever betray us in this way.
