It's a fact that we base our opinions on our own life experiences. I have a friend that lost her 10 year old daughter to PAM and my neighbor lost her 6 week old to Noonan sydrome. The bolded part above is exactly how they acted, except in a bed, not under a table.I was fearful they would commit suicide their pain was so intense. Absolutely heartbreaking. My grandmother lost a child (my uncle) and she had a nervous breakdown and was admitted to a psych ward. My aunt lost a child (my cousin) she fared better than the rest, was a complete mess , unable to eat, cried a lot, but able to function with a sedative and intense grief counseling.
Thank you for sharing your experience with your friend. I was actually on the fence about LH, because although I personally know people that have lost children, they weren't in a situation where their spouse was charged with killing them, so I tried to hold off on forming my opinion. But I have followed a lot of cases here on WS and have seen the actions of parents in that exact situation. That does not make me an expert by any means, but it does give me insight into what could be called normal actions
My personal tipping point was her demeanor at the PCH and as much as I hate to think she had anything to do with it, I can't shake my gut feeling, which has always served me well. I definitely don't think I'm a superior mom, although I have known moms like that in the past and I feel the same way you do. No mom shaming from me, we are all trying to do the best we can.