LeAnna (Mom) #1

[CHERIE.T]

I don't see it.

 

[gngr~snap]

I don't see it.

I guess not. I thought I saw a little green jewel on her left .

I will say it is Cooper's necklace IMO. It could be a push present or rememrance jewelry or she could have gotten it for Mother's Day.

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[CHERIE.T]

Im sorry, Im looking but don't see it. Know that doesn't mean it isn't there. lol

 

[gngr~snap]

Im sorry, Im looking but don't see it. Know that doesn't mean it isn't there. lol

That's ok. I thought I saw a green thingamabob. Then I looked up August birthstone and it's the same color I thought I saw,

Maybe she bought one for RH too. (If it is memorial jewlery) Didn't think to look at other people to see if they wore them.
Maybe RJ van have an anklet or something.

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[Sonya610]

Is it even open after dark? My mom's has a gate that they lock at night, so you can't drive in and it's pretty big. It's near Grant Park in Atlanta, not in a great part of town, but it's the family plot and no way I'm going at night! Acck!!

You are talking about Oakland Cemetery? Yes they lock the gates at night and also have a guard that stays in the little house (watching tv all night). That is a truly awesome cemetery, the times I went at night I never saw anyone else. (Youth may be fleeting but immaturity can last a lifetime!) :blushing:

Great place during the day too, very dog friendly, if you get a chance to go on one of their crypt tours it is awesome! Great stories of the families that own the crypts and you get to see the insides (beautiful white marble interiors with stained glass).

You should be proud that your family has a plot there, it is by far the most prestigious and history filled cemetery in Atlanta, or even all of Georgia with the exception of Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah.

Some cemeteries are open at night, some are closed. In Macon we have Riverside and that IS open all night, it is a huge cemetery but does not have as many fancy crypts and monuments like Oakland.

 

[psyquestor]

I do understand ...unfortunately . .all.. too... well.

When my fiance died of a heart attack I found him about 10 hours later. Rigor mortis etc .was clearly evident

..I didn't call 911 at first . FIRST Thought ... ATTEMPED to call family . But I couldn't figure out how to search my phone addresses (had done many times before ) to find and dial the family member .

Like your father in same situation ..Primary reason I called 911 was to have them call the family for notification .



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My son died by suicide. I was the one who found him hanging. I struggled to get him down and couldn't. As I ran to get scissors I had someone call 911. It was my first and immediate reaction. They arrived minutes later while I was doing CPR.

He lived three days before passing due to anoxic brain injury.

I find LH's behavior immediately afterward, during the police station visit and during the funeral to be extremely unlike my experience (and that of others in my support group). I would have given anything *anything* to have him back. I never felt he was better off - even given his irrational desire to end his life. I aged about 10 years in two days - I couldn't sleep, eat, think straight - the only thing I kept thinking about were all of the things he would not get to do in this life. How much he would miss out on, how much I would miss him.

An amputation of part of my soul; that's what losing my son was like.

Even knowing that people react differently to loss, I do not believe she is innocent due to her words, actions and behavior after Connor's death. I've known hundreds of parents who have lost children to various means and ALL of them went through "What if?" "If only" and "I wish it had been me instead."

My condolences on the loss of your fiance. (((hugs))) I know how heartbreaking it is to lose someone you love so much and what it's like to find them.

 

[matou]

So sorry for for your loss psyquestor.

 

[atthelake]

(((psyquester)))

 

[psyquestor]

In regards to LH's courtroom demeanor, newone said:

to me she looks frustrated

To me she looks both bored and arrogant. She rolls her eyes, gnashes that wad of gum and sighs whenever someone says something detrimental to their appearance of innocence. I think they are both malignant narcissists who thought to paint this picture of an accident and because of their complete lack of empathy they bombed horribly! You may know that malignant narcissists take great pleasure from causing others pain and yes, even death. Whatever they need to do to get attention for themselves and aid that "perfect persona" they strive for.

She didn't look like she'd been crying, or that she hadn't slept or eaten. Quite to the contrary, she looks stone cold. More so than any "shock" would account for. She didn't look bewildered or numb, she looks focused and introspective.

 

[SnoopyDawgDawg]

My son died by suicide. I was the one who found him hanging. I struggled to get him down and couldn't. As I ran to get scissors I had someone call 911. It was my first and immediate reaction. They arrived minutes later while I was doing CPR.

He lived three days before passing due to anoxic brain injury.

I find LH's behavior immediately afterward, during the police station visit and during the funeral to be extremely unlike my experience (and that of others in my support group). I would have given anything *anything* to have him back. I never felt he was better off - even given his irrational desire to end his life. I aged about 10 years in two days - I couldn't sleep, eat, think straight - the only thing I kept thinking about were all of the things he would not get to do in this life. How much he would miss out on, how much I would miss him.

An amputation of part of my soul; that's what losing my son was like.

Even knowing that people react differently to loss, I do not believe she is innocent due to her words, actions and behavior after Connor's death. I've known hundreds of parents who have lost children to various means and ALL of them went through "What if?" "If only" and "I wish it had been me instead."

My condolences on the loss of your fiance. (((hugs))) I know how heartbreaking it is to lose someone you love so much and what it's like to find them.

What a positively perfect description of the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you.

This is not a club membership we ever wanted and would have given anything we could to avoid it, eh? I've had many losses in my life, but losing my child was the loss that just about did me in. If I hadn't had another child to drag on for, I would have just laid down and died. And if I'd had 10 babies, it would not have made up for the loss of my little girl.

To me LH is a complete and total puzzle. I don't think she is totally innocent, and yet I do not see her as the ring leader and RH the willing fall guy either. But then I find it baffling that people can just have the "oh well, we can have more" attitude. Frankly, I'm not sure she even felt that way. This having more children business came off to me as something she said because she thought that is what people expected her to say. It is, after all, one of the tasteless, tactless things people say to parents to try to "console" them.

 

[Lovejac]

Wow. Good eye gngr snap. I see it.

I know someone who has one like that, but it has the baby's initials instead of a birthstone. She got it for Mother's Day.

ETA: Her child is alive and well!

 

[ATasteOfHoney]

What a positively perfect description of the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you.

This is not a club membership we ever wanted and would have given anything we could to avoid it, eh? I've had many losses in my life, but losing my child was the loss that just about did me in. If I hadn't had another child to drag on for, I would have just laid down and died. And if I'd had 10 babies, it would not have made up for the loss of my little girl.

To me LH is a complete and total puzzle. I don't think she is totally innocent, and yet I do not see her as the ring leader and RH the willing fall guy either. But then I find it baffling that people can just have the "oh well, we can have more" attitude. Frankly, I'm not sure she even felt that way. This having more children business came off to me as something she said because she thought that is what people expected her to say. It is, after all, one of the tasteless, tactless things people say to parents to try to "console" them.

BBM: ITA 100%

Very dicey comments from LH......very, very bizarre.

 

[Inthedetails]

If RH is the narcissist sociopath some of us suspect, he has not let LH have any personal friends. After eight years of marriage, he has run them off long ago.

He does not want her to be close to anyone - he is her everything in his mind! And, by having even one close girlfriend, LH might begin to question or compare in her mind how different her marriage is. JMO

I would suggest that RH is the opposite of a sociopath.

Sociopaths don't like people, think they are superior, and tend to be accomplished in several different things. They want challenges and intellectual stimulation and thrive at being better than others. They tend to be good looking or at least put emphasis on their appearance. They can be very charming as well, though they do not care about other people and can't relate to emotions. Think of Sherlock Holmes - that's a sociopath.

RH might be self-centered, but it's an immature self-centeredness. He's not accomplished in anything. He's a lazy slacker who likes to have fun with his friends. He's a big kid and doofus, the opposite of what sociopaths want to be seen as. He's not that smart, imo, and even when he's dressed up, he doesn't look slick or that good looking. He isn't out for the prize beauty in women for other men to admire, but some secret hook-up in the park. I think RH genuinely likes his friends. He really just wants to have fun without putting a lot of effort toward anything. Sociopaths are willing to work to be good at whatever they do. Sociopaths are not social and don't form bonds, while RH seems to want to be surrounded by people and light-weight social activity all the time.

Sociopaths don't fall apart like RH did at the shopping center parking lot. They don't give in to emotions, distractions or impulse, and RH certainly does.

I just don't see RH as a sociopath. He seems to be thoughtless, lazy, sloppy, immature, irresponsible, impulsive and self-centered, but not a sociopath.

Just my arm-chair opinion.

 

[Nyx]

I was present when my son died, but I have to say that when it was time to go to see him at the funeral home, I was terrified to see him dead, and what he would look like. I was afraid it would not look like him. I did go and he looked so much better than I imagined, but it was still heartbreaking. I can't judge her for not wanting to see him because I understand that somewhat. I was however a grief stricken sobbing drugged up mess(still am when it comes to him) and literally could not function. I can't understand her lack of emotion, that's the only thing that bothers me.

 

[Simply Caustic]

I was present when my son died, but I have to say that when it was time to go to see him at the funeral home, I was terrified to see him dead, and what he would look like. I was afraid it would not look like him. I did go and he looked so much better than I imagined, but it was still heartbreaking. I can't judge her for not wanting to see him because I understand that somewhat. I was however a grief stricken sobbing drugged up mess(still am when it comes to him) and literally could not function. I can't understand her lack of emotion, that's the only thing that bothers me.

Hugs to you, Nyx. Kudos to you for sharing your story, and you've made a good point: You can't judge grief, but, the lack of any emotion is brow-raising.

Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie

 

[gngr~snap]

You are talking about Oakland Cemetery? Yes they lock the gates at night and also have a guard that stays in the little house (watching tv all night). That is a truly awesome cemetery, the times I went at night I never saw anyone else. (Youth may be fleeting but immaturity can last a lifetime!) :blushing:

Great place during the day too, very dog friendly, if you get a chance to go on one of their crypt tours it is awesome! Great stories of the families that own the crypts and you get to see the insides (beautiful white marble interiors with stained glass).

You should be proud that your family has a plot there, it is by far the most prestigious and history filled cemetery in Atlanta, or even all of Georgia with the exception of Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah.

Some cemeteries are open at night, some are closed. In Macon we have Riverside and that IS open all night, it is a huge cemetery but does not have as many fancy crypts and monuments like Oakland.

It's West View off MLK Dr. The zoo is 7 miles away. I think Oakland is closer.
The Mc Donalds near has bars on the windows!


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[ATasteOfHoney]

I was present when my son died, but I have to say that when it was time to go to see him at the funeral home, I was terrified to see him dead, and what he would look like. I was afraid it would not look like him. I did go and he looked so much better than I imagined, but it was still heartbreaking. I can't judge her for not wanting to see him because I understand that somewhat. I was however a grief stricken sobbing drugged up mess(still am when it comes to him) and literally could not function. I can't understand her lack of emotion, that's the only thing that bothers me.

Nyx, first please let me extend my condolences regarding the loss of your son.

Second, it appears that you were present and were aware at that time that your son had passed on without a doubt. You didn't need further confirmation of it--it was sadly, something you knew to be as fact.

What is very odd about LH is that she was not there when her son passed away.
So, LH is content to hear about it from others when she has the option AT THE SCENE to ensure to herself that her baby has passed away and she doesn't do it????

I could never do that. I know that I brought the child into the world, he was my responsibility, and that I would need to confirm for myself that he had passed away. Absolutely.

Once again, so sorry for your loss NYX.

 

[katydid23]

I was present when my son died, but I have to say that when it was time to go to see him at the funeral home, I was terrified to see him dead, and what he would look like. I was afraid it would not look like him. I did go and he looked so much better than I imagined, but it was still heartbreaking. I can't judge her for not wanting to see him because I understand that somewhat. I was however a grief stricken sobbing drugged up mess(still am when it comes to him) and literally could not function. I can't understand her lack of emotion, that's the only thing that bothers me.

:grouphug: :rose: :star2: :rose:

 

[gngr~snap]

Nyx, first please let me extend my condolences regarding the loss of your son.

Second, it appears that you were present and were aware at that time that your son had passed on without a doubt. You didn't need further confirmation of it--it was sadly, something you knew to be as fact.

What is very odd about LH is that she was not there when her son passed away.
So, LH is content to hear about it from others when she has the option AT THE SCENE to ensure to herself that her baby has passed away and she doesn't do it????

I could never do that. I know that I brought the child into the world, he was my responsibility, and that I would need to confirm for myself that he had passed away. Absolutely.

Once again, so sorry for your loss NYX.

Do you have a link to where she was asked if she wanted to see her son and refused?
I am not finding that anyone offered to let her see Cooper.
I mist have missed it.

STODDARD: Her reaction at the scene, she didn't show any emotion when they asked her or when they notified her of Cooper's death. She did make a statement that, you know, this was her worst nightmare.*

UNIDENTIFIED PROSECUTOR: And after being told that he was deceased, did she ask to see her son or anything like that?*

STODDARD: No.*

UNIDENTIFIED PROSECUTOR: Who does she ask to see?*

STODDARD: She asked to see her husband.*


http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1407/03/wolf.02.html

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[SnoopyDawgDawg]

Do you have a link to where she was asked if she wanted to see her son and refused?
I am not finding that anyone offered to let her see Cooper.
I mist have missed it.

STODDARD: Her reaction at the scene, she didn't show any emotion when they asked her or when they notified her of Cooper's death. She did make a statement that, you know, this was her worst nightmare.*

UNIDENTIFIED PROSECUTOR: And after being told that he was deceased, did she ask to see her son or anything like that?*

STODDARD: No.*

UNIDENTIFIED PROSECUTOR: Who does she ask to see?*

STODDARD: She asked to see her husband.*


http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1407/03/wolf.02.html

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Snaps, I love the way you strive to keep us honest and the "road" clear of "debris."