NC - Zahra Clare Baker, 10, Hickory, 9 Oct 2010 - #20

[alphaville]

I'm about 1.5 hours east and also never see Goth adults... just high school kids. However, her taste in music and the skull and crossbones on her myspace don't seem out of the ordinary for folks her age around here.

We normally don't feel the need to dress up on a regular basis By the time you hit 30, you typically out grow that stage. Typically. So you see them probably but just don't know it.

Also, her taste in music is really far from being considered goth. Especially for someone her age. Yuck.

 

[adh74]

I'm about 1.5 hours east and also never see Goth adults... just high school kids. However, her taste in music and the skull and crossbones on her myspace don't seem out of the ordinary for folks her age around here.

I agree. The music is just a personal taste thing (not MY thing, but whatever). And it seems that the whole skull/crossbones thing is kind of a trend thing lately (my 7yo daughter has pink skull/crossbones pajamas:angel. The the gothic and "fairy" stuff (we're not talking about tinkerbell here either!)...that stuff is very creepy.

 

[Kat]

Morning checking in for Zahra. I have about 27 pages to read to catch up. No way that's happening this morning.

One thought as I was reading the last thread---we have a sticky for timeline and media links for Zahra. I, myself, have posted links in Zahra's thread but didn't go to her sticky to make sure it was there too.

Let's all make sure if we post a link here in her thread we post it in her sticky too. Or at least make sure it's been posted in her sticky if someone got there before us.

If the investigation keeps up as fast paced as it has been, then there is a good chance she would get a subforum. If that happens then we all have to scour her threads and pull links to organize the subforum. it's a PIA big time.

Anything big I miss since yesterday evening (after the first NG showing for you all?) TIA!

Come home soon Zahra!

 

[mama2echo]

I'm in Charlotte, NC (just a bit south of Hickory) and I rarely see Goth folks down here. Maybe occassionally some teenage rebel types, but I couldn't tell you the last time I saw a grown-up dressed goth.:waitasec:

im in Greensboro(about 2 hours from hickory? maybe less) and i see them a bunch here...but not as old as EB(granted shes not old old..)..college kids tho...but this is a college town/area(we have like 7 or 8)

 

[watergirl]

from left to right, dodge challenger, pontiac gto, dodge charger

A Mopar man.

 

[adh74]

I just looked at the slide show again. It had been a while. It seems like up to a point Zahra and everyone seemed relatively happy. There must have been a tipping point that EB came to.

I noticed Zahra seemed to be a little on the thin side (not that that necessarily correlates to anything, but could) in the "passport" photo. I really think that tipping point with EB was a progressive drug addiction. With EB's weight loss, obvious abuse escalation, violent charge, probably child neglect... drug addiction seems the obvious to me. I also know drugs can enhance a person's natural character. EB was always evil but may not have let it be shown to it's true extreme. I am sure she was jealous of Z's attention too so that just really brought out EB's horrible side. The woman must have had SOME charm to have had been married/in relationships with so many men. (of course until they got to know her. uhg)

Anyway, also where she calls Zahra the "dark child." I think she was trying to be cute. Referring to Zahra's outfit and making a goth reference. (But you know, beneath every joke is some truth...I'm sure she was so jealous of Z.) I don't think she was intentionally trying to be a crappy mom by saying that but knowing what we know now and infer, it just sounds harsh.

I agree with everything you said, especially the bolded part. I think she's always been a less than stellar citizen (bad checks, etc.). But I think she may have taken a huge turn in her drug use (maybe started a new, heavier, drug like Meth or Heroine?) and that took her irresponsibility, rage and evilness to a whole new level. And poor Zahra was trapped in that house with her.

I also wonder if her increasing drug habit (and/or the behaviors that went with it) were part of the fight she had with her dad (is that who owned the mobile home?). Maybe he got sick of her crap and kicked her out...and AB and Z went with her.

 

[darnudes]

Ohhhh! I TOTALLY forgot about her friend from LONDON!!! I wonder if M**** is married and to whom??

She did have a partner but I think they broke up a few months ago. There is another man from the UK that lives near the Bakers. I've been trying to get some info on him but no luck other than some think as highly of him as they do EB, which is not much.

 

[Kat]

^ I wonder at the 'goth' thing too, she's far from what I would call goth. I'm wondering if this was a recent affectation on her part. Sounds to me like a desperate attempt to remain young....fit in with her daughter Amber perhaps, or even AY, who was actually younger?

How old is EB? I thought she was in her 40's?

In my mind, (and of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with living any alternate lifestyle as long one's actions are legal) I wonder if this is a lifestyle she has practiced for a while or is it a recent turn to an alternate lifestyle?

If it's been a choice for a bit then I see nothing to look twice at, however, if it is recent then that gives me pause for thought.

If recent (within the last 2-3 years or less for example) then I have to wonder why an adult woman (middle aged) would suddenly adopt an alternate lifestyle. One of the ways to rationalize that would be that she doesn't know herself well enough. Her inner workings and is searching for answers outside herself KWIM?

Further, it indicates a huge problem in my mind if a middle aged woman doesn't know herself. Possibly a personality disorder or other issues KWIM? We have professionals that could have a look at that as members here.

But it all depends on her age, and it depends on how long it's been since she adopted that lifestyle. JMHO.

(Disclaimer: Nothing whatsoever wrong with the lifestyle she has chosen. Nothing).


ETA: I have a close family member that adopted an alternate lifestyle back in his early 20's he still lives it. No biggie.

 

[cleo612]

I was just thinking, if they are going to have to wait on forensics off those mattresses in the dump, that could take awhile.

Honestly, I hope that any forensics testing that needs to be done will be done at the FBI labs rather than at the NC forensics crime laboratory.

There has been quite a stink recently over mishandled evidence, incorrect evaluations, and tainted convictions from within the confines of that office. I would put much more faith and trust in the FBI labs versus NC's labs anyday.

 

[Kat]

BBM

I predict (speculate) that as more info comes out, this may prove to be a really gooooood question.

How so? (just curious and being nosey ) LOL

 

[Mrs G Norris]

Yes she's 42, and I would love to know the answer to that question too! We haven't come across any photos in her in younger days have we? That will be interesting to see.

 

[darlin gal]

How old is EB? I thought she was in her 40's?

In my mind, (and of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with living any alternate lifestyle as long one's actions are legal) I wonder if this is a lifestyle she has practiced for a while or is it a recent turn to an alternate lifestyle?

If it's been a choice for a bit then I see nothing to look twice at, however, if it is recent then that gives me pause for thought.

If recent (within the last 2-3 years or less for example) then I have to wonder why an adult woman (middle aged) would suddenly adopt an alternate lifestyle. One of the ways to rationalize that would be that she doesn't know herself well enough. Her inner workings and is searching for answers outside herself KWIM?

Further, it indicates a huge problem in my mind if a middle aged woman doesn't know herself. Possibly a personality disorder or other issues KWIM? We have professionals that could have a look at that as members here.

But it all depends on her age, and it depends on how long it's been since she adopted that lifestyle. JMHO.

(Disclaimer: Nothing whatsoever wrong with the lifestyle she has chosen. Nothing).


ETA: I have a close family member that adopted an alternate lifestyle back in his early 20's he still lives it. No biggie.

Personally I don't think she was goth. I think she just played "goth" online and colored her hair in funny colors, to appear younger and hipper to the people around her.

She tended to hang around a somewhat younger crowd and her ex's are considerably younger than her.

 

[Kat]

Yes she's 42, and I would love to know the answer to that question too! We haven't come across any photos in her in younger days have we? That will be interesting to see.

42? Oh yeah Mrs G. that's a question for sure we both like to see!

When I was 42, I remember that I did have a bit of a struggle (not anything major) with adjusting and settling into middle age. (a great many of my female friends did too aged 39-45) I guess you could call it the middle aged crisis sort of like some men go through (not all).

I had to reconcile, how I felt on the inside with the image that looked back at me in the mirror and the way other's looked at me in comparison to the way I felt on the inside and come to accept that it ain't the 80's anymore and I wasn't some young skippy that I was a grown woman and looked it LOLOLOL.

JMHO.

ETA to make sure it's on topic: Wonder if EB was going through some of that too?

 

[Kamille]

I agree with everything you said, especially the bolded part. I think she's always been a less than stellar citizen (bad checks, etc.). But I think she may have taken a huge turn in her drug use (maybe started a new, heavier, drug like Meth or Heroine?) and that took her irresponsibility, rage and evilness to a whole new level. And poor Zahra was trapped in that house with her.

I also wonder if her increasing drug habit (and/or the behaviors that went with it) were part of the fight she had with her dad (is that who owned the mobile home?). Maybe he got sick of her crap and kicked her out...and AB and Z went with her.

I think things started spiraling around Feb/Mar of this year. They made that move, in March I believe, and Zahra changed schools. If you look at EB in the pictures of Zahra getting the hearing aid, the weight loss had already started IMO. Same with the one in the doctor's office with the grandson?

She signed up to FB in Jan and there were lots of rants on there. I think this is also the time period where the school (Hudson) took an interest in Zahra's home situation and visited the home and called DSS.

I believe it was also during this time that the "conflict" with BB happened. And the larceny charge from her employer. Things were getting out of control the way I see it.

Then there was the final move to Hickory and...poor Zahra.

MOO

 

[darlin gal]

Her friends/family have had no trouble talking to the media and being frank about EB. The only drugs we have heard is that she had issues with prescription pain medication.


I think if she was into meth or any other drug we would have heard it by now.

JMO

 

[stormsailor]

i know all of the old musclecars, i was a kid when they all came out and couldn't wait to get to drive. then the gas crunch came along, lol.

i'm actually an m car man now.

 

[DLT88]

I just looked at the slide show again. It had been a while. It seems like up to a point Zahra and everyone seemed relatively happy. There must have been a tipping point that EB came to.

I noticed Zahra seemed to be a little on the thin side (not that that necessarily correlates to anything, but could) in the "passport" photo. I really think that tipping point with EB was a progressive drug addiction. With EB's weight loss, obvious abuse escalation, violent charge, probably child neglect... drug addiction seems the obvious to me. I also know drugs can enhance a person's natural character. EB was always evil but may not have let it be shown to it's true extreme. I am sure she was jealous of Z's attention too so that just really brought out EB's horrible side. The woman must have had SOME charm to have had been married/in relationships with so many men. (of course until they got to know her. uhg)

Anyway, also where she calls Zahra the "dark child." I think she was trying to be cute. Referring to Zahra's outfit and making a goth reference. (But you know, beneath every joke is some truth...I'm sure she was so jealous of Z.) I don't think she was intentionally trying to be a crappy mom by saying that but knowing what we know now and infer, it just sounds harsh.

I think I read somewhere a comment from one of the family members or neighbors that EB was jealous of Zahra because her father (at the time anyway) gave so much more attention to Zahra than to her. Just a thought came....could it be that AB stopped paying so much attention to Zahra to maybe, hopefully, stop his wife from beating her so much?

Maybe EB is bi-polar or something, too, maybe. The bldg mgr hired for my apt bldg could be EB's twin. She has her tattoos in the same places, dark black hair, same body type and is addicted to narcotic prescription drugs. Sometimes, she is as nice as sugar, and other times she SCREAMS at tenants at the top of her lungs for hardly anything at all. She also has an adult daughter who wants nothing to do with her. That drug addiction is a mean thing to be around for anyone, especially a defenseless handicapped child.

 

[Mrs G Norris]

42? Oh yeah Mrs G. that's a question for sure we both like to see!

When I was 42, I remember that I did have a bit of a struggle (not anything major) with adjusting and settling into middle age. (a great many of my female friends did too aged 39-45) I guess you could call it the middle aged crisis sort of like some men go through (not all).

I had to reconcile, how I felt on the inside with the image that looked back at me in the mirror and the way other's looked at me in comparison to the way I felt on the inside and come to accept that it ain't the 80's anymore and I wasn't some young skippy that I was a grown woman and looked it LOLOLOL.

JMHO.

ETA to make sure it's on topic: Wonder if EB was going through some of that too?

LOL! I just had my 40th and have decided to lie about my age, go to the gym more and live in total denial

 

[JoeFromLB]

I've always thought she looks more like 52 than 42. Do we really know much about her background? There seems to be a lot of deception going on with her, from everything I've read so far.

 

[watergirl]

I wonder if AB had been working more hours lately? Like maybe that contributed to a recent downward-spiral scenario between EB and Zahra?

I recently re-married and have a 6yo stepdaughter. I notice when dad is working 70-80 hour weeks drilling, that we both feel it. She gets more emotional and I start feeling like i married the drill rig.

She is such a little angel and has wanted a mommy for so very long who didn't just neglect her, and I want so bad to be that mommy for her (no pressure ha) but we do have our moments, of course. My husband just got custody and she has so many needs from being neglected for 4-plus years that it can be overwhelming when he is working those long hours.

I wonder if his workload was a stress factor to the EB-ZB deterioration, assuming that is was a progressively worsening situation.

It's so hard to *grok* this family and the mindset that all I have is my own life to try to draw parallels from sometimes.

Wow sorry for the overshare, that got long-winded. :talker: