First of all ...hello everyone, newbie here :loveyou: I have been following WS and must say this case has my head spinning. My heart certainly goes out to HE and her family.
To throw in my perspective (after much studying of HE's SM)
I believe HE never "got over" the OM. I think she had the OM in the back of her mind during her date. I know when I was younger I had a couple infatuations with unavailable men, and I would be a bit bold in making that person "jealous"(going on dates is always the best tactic).
What throws me off in the latest development with her phone interactions, is the the fact that the roommate stated that HE stated that the OM had "left" his wife. Not that he was "leaving" his wife. When a married man says he has left his wife, this is an action statement. Once he has left his wife, that means he now plans on being with you. In HE's situation, IMO, she couldn't possibly have planned on continuing a relationship in Myrtle Beach (particularly if the OM had children). I think the OM suggested they run away together, and this is what brought on the flurry of emotion, and possibly the back and forth of phone calls, for HE. Leaving friends, family behind (even for a short time) could be overwhelming and upsetting, but for a young girl in love, I don't think there was a doubt whether or not she would pursue this, even if temporarily. It's likely the OM suggested they meet up and leave immediately, not giving her much time to plan or prepare. I think the hours of calls could have been her trying to get more time or delay the sudden departure.
I also don't believe HE would mention her plans to her roommate. Dating a married man is typically off-limits for discussion, and it does lend to the fact that she may have fabricated a new "ex" or "boyfriend" with a different name, so that no one (particularly family members) was the wiser of her seeing a married man. And I can't imagine being in HE's shoes and planning on seeing a man that just left his wife, I would fear for my life (literally). But I could see myself running away with someone (if I really did love him, even ignorantly so) and leaving the troubles and turmoil behind. HE many times eluded to "getting away" on her Twitter, so the idea could actually have been a bit romantic albeit traumatizing at first.
The fact that the OM said he left his wife is what is a big red flag to me (if the roommate did in fact recall that correctly). I think either HE was set up, or (less likely) that the OM did plan to run away with her and the spouse discovered the plans, and interrupted the intended rendezvous. This situation would also have enabled the OM or his spouse (or both) to use HE's phone after they "met up" to post some suggestive posts to her Tumblr. But most married men I know that cheat on their wives (and I know plenty and hear all the secrets...I'm a bartender) never actually leave their wives, they always tell their lovers/mistresses they will leave their wives and string them along and trade them in for another when needed.
More importantly, most married men that cheat on their wives would NEVER leave their wives without having already solidified their next hook up. As in, the OM would have already re-connected with HE to make sure he was clearly in his control, BEFORE leaving his wife. The whole "I left my wife I want to be with you" sounds like complete BS, unless he was one of the few married men that was controlled by his wife and he actually had to leave because the wife was the abusive one (so I'm including that as a minute possibility.)
I think HE drove to PTL to meet with the OM, and the two went elsewhere (where possibly the spouse showed up). I don't doubt the OM and his spouse may have premeditated this, particularly if the OM had children and HE was aggressively pursuing the relationship. I could see this being an ultimatum where the spouse had "dirt" on the OM, and threatened to "out" him if he didn't agree (perhaps reluctantly) to "get rid" of HE so therefore likely was a joint effort, but very much instigated originally by the spurned spouse.
Just my theory.
The thought of finding out my husband is having an affair with a beautiful 20-year-old... ugh. The pain it would cause doesn't justify anything, but the motive is definitely there. Doesn't this classify as a "crime of passion"? Particularly if the two do have children together.
HE could have also inadvertently or perhaps intentionally let the wife know of what was going on (hoping the wife would leave the husband). The OM could have pretended to play it cool, but set her up for a violent confrontation.
Either way...OM (and spouse) I believe is involved.
**Also, I typically imbibe a bit when I'm out on a date. Perhaps HE had a couple alcoholic beverages that night? If so, what was HE's state of mind by 6AM? If HE had been a bit tipsy during and after any of this, that could greatly affect the whole situation, and increase the ability for someone to take advantage/attack her with little struggle.