When my younger son died six weeks before his third birthday, June16, no less, as a divorced Mother of a seven year old son, I HAD to work. THAT was the easy part ........... dealing with my elder son's grief, while working through my own grief - we were in counseling - is something words just cannot describe. However, I worked, yes, I could have gone on disability due to my mental status, but chose not to do that, and I was a d@mn good employee. In retrospect, I am very glad I made that decision - it was very good for the two of us, as my son has grown into a wonderful, compassionate, STRONG young man.
Oh, and that *closure* *move on with your life* stuff ....... doesn't happen. You 'adapt' over time and learn 'where you can go in your mind,' and just how far ....... BUT, you NEVER get over it. You are NEVER the same. However, you don't 'wear your grief' like a badge, either.
It has been 35 years and I can tell you, it still feels like yesterday. That "punch in the gut," heart literally painfully hurting feeling is real & present EACH time I think of him ...... still many times, daily.
I am neither trying to be rude, nor garner sympathy .... just saying, life is about 'experiences' and how we each deal with and learn from them.
GA & CA, I believe, are still 'one' with their murdering daughter & her DT, and are just presenting themselves with 'different masks' at this time. We shall see. jmho
