Would You Visit Casey if You Were Cindy, George, or Lee?

[Just Jayla]

BBM. IMO, Casey, in true sociopathic style couldn't care less about facing her parents because that would mean she has some semblance of a conscience, which she has not shown she has. I think they make her angry (especially CA) with their questions and that's why she won 't see them. Plus, I really do believe she detests CA and harbors all sorts of resentment. Of course, this is all the opinion of a person not credentialed in psychology - me!

On another note, if my beloved son was a murderer (heaven forbid!) and it was the eve of his DP hearing, I would visit him. I would tell him while I abhor what he has done, he is still my child, my flesh and blood and I will always love him and be there for him. I am his mother and he is my son and there is no stronger bond, no matter what. No doubt, I would suffer tremendous guilt and blame myself for the way he turned out. I would agonize over argument, every stupid thing I ever said to him, every baseball game I missed. But at the end of the day, I could never turn my back on him. It's my job as a mother to help him accept what he has done along with the consequences that will follow. I would try mightily to get him life and not the DP. I would spend the rest of my life crying and being half of the person I once was.

Agree with your whole post-Bolded the part about the guilt-This is what I think causes CA to do the things she does, she is carrying a tremendous amount of guilt for her own actions. All of us loving mommies have had those moments where we agonize about the times our tempers were too short, we missed an important moment, or the times we really had to lay into our kids about something...For CA, maybe she subconciously links her own behavior to Caylee's death, too.
She could not even go there when TraceyM asked her about times when she did not see eye to eye with KC-CA wanted to pretend it did not ever happen.
This is the context in which I actually feel badly for CA, it reveals a frailty in her, that she tries so hard to rectify things with KC, herself and even the public where in many instances it is too late to do so-I think she believes if she sees KC it will make things better...I think in a lot of ways it will make things worse for CA's emotional well-being, cause she keeps trying to rearrange and fix things. Tough situation, for sure.

 

[The World According]

As a mom, I would be there EVERYDAY for my child. I would assume if she did this she needed professional help of some sort. I would stand by her, I would not support make excuses for her actions, however, I would stand by her so that she had the strength to serve what ever time given to her. I would also try to deter the death sentence.

:bow::bow::bow::bow:

 

[Aedrys]

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and here's my answer. Yes, I'd go visit purely for support. I wouldn't ask about my granddaughter, though my heart would hurt the whole time. I wouldn't ask anything about her defense or the trial. I would just be there to ask her how's she doing and does she need anything.

Because honestly, if it were my child, I'd want them to suffer consequences, but I can't picture myself abandoning them totally. I probably wouldn't be able to visit long, and I'm sure I'd go home and cry for a long time afterwards. But I'd still love my child, and I wouldn't just not go see them no matter how mad I am at what they did.

I will say the one scary thing about Casey is just how inhuman she is. I wonder if part of the reason her parents won't see her is that they know those soulless eyes would stare accusingly back at them, and nothing but hate would spew from her mouth. For a parent, that's hard to have to take from your own child over and over again.

It doesn't excuse them, but I know after my child did that a few times to me, it would be harder for me to visit. I wouldn't stop, but my heart sure would be hearting more and more after each visit. Visiting my child would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do if they did something like murder someone else, especially a family member, especially their child.

I think the A's are trying to save themselves more hurt, and it's easier to support her when they don't see her on a regular basis. If they did, I think whatever support they were giving would erode away even more. I don't know if Cindy would be able to keep up her facade after visiting Casey a few times. And I think George would totally break down. I think self preservation so that they can get through this and move on is the bigger motivation to not see her than going to see her out of love and support, unfortunately for Casey.

 

[kaRN]

No I wouldn't even try to visit. KC denied their visits at first and then came the story they couldn't visit because their every nuance would somehow jeopardize their daughters defense. I never bought that for a second. It's just PR to explain why KC won't see them. An innocent person probably would need the love and support of her parents. KC isn't so...
So in the same situation I wouldn't visit. I would practice the wise of advise of setting free what you love. If my daughter asked to see me, I'd visit, until then, never. I'd visit Caylee's memorial every day however.

 

[TinPan]

I love my two kids more than life itself, but, knowing what I do know, I think she would be dead to me. I sat here and tried to imagine facing her, smiling, giving support for murdering my grandchild out of spite and selfishness.....nope.

 

[Zoe Bogart]

I honestly don't know if I would want to see her or not. She murdered my grandchild and I don't know if I could get beyond that. Knowing how she murdered that baby and how that little girl must have suffered...I don't know if I would ever want to see my child again. That sounds really hard but what she did to that baby is worse. I'm the odd one out here so far but that is the way I feel.

Call me cruel, but I agree with you. If my daughter killed/murdered her daughter, and did what Casey did, not say anything for a month, threw her body into the woods and let her stay there for six months!!!!!!, no, I don't think I'd want to torture myself and allow her to torture me all over again, day after day.

Now, if she killed her baby, and came forward immediately, and acknowledged her part, I'd be there for her. Other than that, I'd want justice for the baby.

This won't happen because my daughter isn't going to have any children, my son died years ago, and I'll never be a grandmother.

Now if I turn the situation around, and I was the one who killed my child, my mother wouldn't have gone for an entire month without contact with my daughter. She would have been on me within two days. My mother would have visited me in jail and would have gone to court but you can guarantee it wouldn't have been to support me, it would have been to get justice for the baby I'd killed.

 

[suepitzl]

I would visit, just with the mere thought that she may longer be on this earth in a year or so..........MOO

 

[Mrs G Norris]

Call me cruel, but I agree with you. If my daughter killed/murdered her daughter, and did what Casey did, not say anything for a month, threw her body into the woods and let her stay there for six months!!!!!!, no, I don't think I'd want to torture myself and allow her to torture me all over again, day after day.

Now, if she killed her baby, and came forward immediately, and acknowledged her part, I'd be there for her. Other than that, I'd want justice for the baby.

This won't happen because my daughter isn't going to have any children, my son died years ago, and I'll never be a grandmother.

Now if I turn the situation around, and I was the one who killed my child, my mother wouldn't have gone for an entire month without contact with my daughter. She would have been on me within two days. My mother would have visited me in jail and would have gone to court but you can guarantee it wouldn't have been to support me, it would have been to get justice for the baby I'd killed.

You know what.....reading your post I realised something. If I turn the situation around I wouldn't want my mother visiting me, because I wouldn't be able to face her.

 

[Pollywog]

If KC were my child, no I would not go see her simply because of the way she has acted from the time she left home with Caylee after the big fight. Never reporting her missing, going to clubs as if nothing happened, lying every step of the way, no I would not go visit her nor be in court for her. On the other hand if it was either one of my children yes I would want to visit them. But you see my girls are nothing like KC and would never consider harming their own child much less party the night away as if nothing had happened for 31 days.

I can see why KC is the way she is just by seeing how her parents have acted since the first 911 call. That whole family has problems and have had for years IMO. No it does not excuse KC harming her child, but it does explain some of her other actions. I am so thankful I do not have a child like KC, but then I was a different type parent than the A's.

 

[TorisMom003]

I would not be able to visit my child if one of them did something like this. Then again I also would not be able to do the things that George, Cindy or Lee have done for Casey either. If one of my children murdered their own child or some other innocent person I would accept that they were evil and I would leave them to whatever punishment the court found fit for them. My children know the way that I believe, the way that they were raised and they know right from wrong. My children would no longer be my children if they did something like this.

Casey however is clearly a product of her parents. I can see why George and Cindy want to think she is innocent. I could also see Cindy going this same path as Casey if she felt that it would help her in some way. This is a very strange, abnormal family. Thankfully I do not know (personally) of any others like them.

 

[Gma Kat]

Yes, I would definitely go - and if she refused to see me I would just keep on trying.

I would say first thing - I don't want to discuss the case because we are being taped, but I would want to know how she was, and if she needed anything, and if she felt her lawyer was still helping her, those kinds of things without specifics. And to tell her no matter what I love her, and she is always in my heart. When my daughter was young, I used to kiss her palm and tell her to keep the kiss in her pocket so she would always have one when she needed it.
But I wouldn't lie to anyone. If the press asked me questions, I would say, please no comment. She is my daughter and I love her.

ITA logicalgirl. If it were my daughter.....I would do exactly as you post....

Now, answering the question, if I were GA/CA or LA would I visit KC? Well, no, because that is how they roll.....I don't agree with it at all. So what if the news puts your visit on everytime? So what? If you are just being supportive the public will get tired of the show.....the only reason this case became such a circus is the unbelievable behavior of the family during their visits to KC in jail. It exposed them all in a way I am sure they do not wish to do again - which is why I believe they are not "allowed" to visit Kc.....because none of them can control their behavior and because KC is guilty as can be and it leaks out anytime she is exposed, period....

 

[txsvicki]

I would only visit at first hoping to coax or get a confession as to where the child was located. After a body being found, there's no way I would visit anyone who premeditated the death of a little toddler. The thoughts of what the child went through would repulse, haunt, and fill me with anger and guilt for not being able to stop it. After the prison sentence though, I'd write several times per year (no return address) with a religious theme and maybe send religious books. The thing with a psychopath is that the person would suck relatives right back in with lies and manipulations. They'd never be free of it unless cutting off all contact.

 

[Tinsel]

It's such an interesting question trying to see things from CA and KCs point of view. It seems to have been about revenge. And I guess as long as KC is going to claim innocence, there is a lot of obstacles to a conversation between them. If my kid did such a thing as revenge against me, I would probably need a lot of space too; I'd have to process this kind of thing without being lied to or crazy emotions coming from the culprit, which would only make it more painful.

 

[feddup]

I would only visit at first hoping to coax or get a confession as to where the child was located. After a body being found, there's no way I would visit anyone who premeditated the death of a little toddler. The thoughts of what the child went through would repulse, haunt, and fill me with anger and guilt for not being able to stop it. After the prison sentence though, I'd write several times per year (no return address) with a religious theme and maybe send religious books. The thing with a psychopath is that the person would suck relatives right back in with lies and manipulations. They'd never be free of it unless cutting off all contact.

obviously, being the kind of girl Kc is....they had to be nice when they first visited her in jail. they didnt want to offend her or else she would get snarky
with them. I do believe Casey has severe mental disorder and isnt normal.
She didnt act normal with the polce and she still doesnt. A normal person wouldve caved in by now and confessed. She lives in her own little world.
I think G and C stay away because now they realise they won't get anywhere with her.
I really think Casey thinks her lawyer will get her off and she will go back to partying at fusian....remember when Paris Hilton first got out of jail, she carried a Bible? Well, that didnt last long.
Just the fact that casey cut off her engagement to her fiance because she said "you love Caylee more than me" that should tell you something.
I guess being a Mother, Cindy would like her daughter back home but really it would always be in the back of her mind, I think, if she did harm Caylee and cause this whole mess. Their fam will never be the same. JMO

 

[seagull65]

I would continue to visit. I don't think I'd be able to abandon my child, especially if I started seeing that my child appeared to be addled or very strange acting, or if their case looked hopeless. Actually my first instinct if I'd been Casey's parent would be that I would have gotten MRI's, complete medical and toxicology workup on her immediately to find out if she'd been drugged or what drugs she'd been on, and to identify any potential medical problems or causes going on, and to try to see if any light could be shed on her very strange behavior, inappropriate affect, absence of logical memories/information regarding the crucial weeks in question, her bizarre detachment, unreality regarding the situation, complete "blank" as if she'd forgotten who Caylee was, etc. Just to find out how impaired she was or had been, identify any medical factors, etc. That would be the first step. After that, I would continue to visit and would never be able to give up trying to find out the truth regardless what nonsense she was talking. I would try to find whatever shreds of information could be found. I know I wouldn't be able to let it go. I would never be able to just let my grandchild go like that without an explanation, without trying to find out what happened.
I would never be able to chit chat and laugh with Casey as if everything was fine, nor would I allow myself to be manipulated or bossed by her. I would be truthful and serious with her. I would probably try to mentally shut off some of my concern about my child, distance myself, because of the horror of the situation, but I'm sure I would not be able to. The horror would consume your life. You would always remember the little child that they had once been. And now they were in the worst situation a person could ever be in and something beyond horror had happened to your little grandchild and now they're gone forever. Unimaginable horror. And on top of that, never knowing for sure what exactly happened. Your mind running over and over it trying to figure it out, wishing you could bring back your grandchild who vanished just like that. And your child is acting completely weird and not making sense, acting like everything's fine.

I could never forgive cruelty by anyone toward any child, much less forget my own grandchild and what had happened to them of course. That goes without saying.
I do think mental illness and brain disorders are very often undiagnosed or misdiagnosed and that prisons are full of people who actually have brain injuries and serious mental illness....some people have the terrible misfortune of their child being born with or developing a serious mental or brain problem, or getting addled by drugs, or developing serious problems as a result of abuse or other experiences..... I think it would be like having a family member with any other terrible disease only worse in some ways. A parent would be there to hold their child's hand if they were dying of a terrible disease or injury, and I think at times, visiting your child in prison in circumstances like this might be kind of like that. As a parent, you knew your child when they were a wonderful innocent little child , you saw all the great qualities they had. Then maybe you saw the tragedy of mental illness start to creep in during their late teen or young adult years, or maybe you saw the person falling into drugs and deteriorating, their personality being ruined, or just the opposite, maybe there was just a rapid onset , things started getting chaotic and before you could figure out what was going on, you find out some terrible thing has happened beyond your worst fears, your grandchild is lost and your child can't logically explain where she is or what's going on. If I were Casey's parents, I don't think I would be completely sure still that Casey was the one who actually inflicted injuries on Caylee, she had no history of anything like that. But if I found out that she had, I would see it as a result of a serious illness. It wouldn't be a matter of forgiving what had happened. That wouldn't really be possible.

 

[seagull65]

you know, if I discovered for sure that my child had indeed personally inflicted cruelty on any child, I can't say for sure that I would fight the death penalty. I wouldn't want my child released if that were the case, but I also wouldn't wish life in prison on them. Life in prison is also very cruel, possibly worse than the death penalty (depending on the method. Some methods are especially cruel of course.)
Now could I sentence a person to the death penalty and be responsible myself for killing someone, I don't think so. But if a jury did that and my child could be released from this living hell, their spirit released, that might seem more merciful than being kept in prison for life. I'm not sure.

 

[Tuffy]

you know, if I discovered for sure that my child had indeed personally inflicted cruelty on any child, I can't say for sure that I would fight the death penalty. I wouldn't want my child released if that were the case, but I also wouldn't wish life in prison on them. Life in prison is also very cruel, possibly worse than the death penalty (depending on the method. Some methods are especially cruel of course.)
Now could I sentence a person to the death penalty and be responsible myself for killing someone, I don't think so. But if a jury did that and my child could be released from this living hell, their spirit released, that might seem more merciful than being kept in prison for life. I'm not sure.

I don't think I would have trouble distancing myself from a sibling who murdered, but it would definitely be hard to do that to my child. Although, I sort of think that I may be so repulsed that I may have a hard time being around them.

 

[seagull65]

Knowing me, I think if I were Cindy I would just keep going to see Casey and just keep confronting her to see if I could snap her back to reality. Not that I think it would do any good probably, but my instinct would just be to keep doing that and to be completely truthful with her. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. To every illogical thing she said I would say, "But that doesn't make any sense because...." And I would explain why. And I would discuss how she appeared to have lost her mind, how she seemed to be in some kind of weird fog where she was obsessed with trivial matters and with herself, while showing no interest in urgently important things such as Caylee being missing. I would discuss how this seemed to have had its onset during the time Caylee went missing, how strange and inappropriate her affect and mood was, and how illogical her statements to police had been, and how it made everyone think she was the one who had harmed Caylee, etc. I would discuss her bizarre detachment regarding Caylee's disappearance, how she had never asked questions, never showed any interest or concern, never discussed wanting the perpetrator to be found, etc. I would continually ask if she could understand why, what could have caused it, what could have happened. Had she started using methamphetamine in June 08? Did she think anyone might have drugged her with Rufinol or LSD or anything else? Had anything else happened to her? etc. I would keep asking questions regarding June, day by day questions, all the minute details, tell me again about Zanny's car accident, etc. Everything. I do think the defense have gotten Casey to refuse visits. Or else outlined so many instructions for Casey's family if they do visit that it would be ridiculous, i.e., don't say or ask anything about Caylee, the case, etc. And that would be impossible really. I mean, if I were them I definitely wouldn't be able to sit there and BS with Casey and not discuss things in a straightforward manner. I'm not sure if continuing to have family visits could have hurt Casey's case any worse than the defense have hurt her case by having her sit silently in jail all this time without talking or explaining anything. If she'd continued to have videotaped family visits the tapes might have shown how illogical and confused she is. She might have told 10 more versions of what happened.

 

[StillLurkin]

If I still loved her I would.

 

[Gma Kat]

If I still loved her I would.

I like your answer. I always try and think what I would do, how I would react or feel, but in all honesty, I can't possibly know. As you said, IF I still loved her, I would visit.