I desperately hope that MarleyWings and all of our other awesome Mods allow me a little leeway with this post, because it matters so, so much.
Yesterday, the 10th September was international suicide prevention day. Today, is national "RUOK? day here in Oz- also about suicide prevention, but aimed at starting simple, but meaningful discussions , making it okay, and even comfortable for people on both sides to talk about this globally taboo topic. It's hard to believe that we can change or save lives so easily- but we really can.
https://www.ruok.org.au/
Firstly, I want to point out that we don't know what Amesha's COD or MOD was, and we probably never will, but IMO and going on statistics, her death was most likely a suicide.
Feel free to skip past my rambling to get to the stats and facts at the end...
I've really been struggling with a some of the comments by well-meaning posters, especially over the last few pages with all things related to suicide. I'm sad , I'm angry, I'm frustrated and disappointed, but I'm also passionately wanting to spread awareness because I'm shocked at how misinformed people are when it comes to depression and suicide.
Over the years, I've heard people excuse their lack of support because "they just don't know what to say" to the person, and "don't want to say the wrong thing". I can tell you now that it doesn't get more wrong than saying and doing nothing! It doesn't get any more selfish than avoiding the topic and avoiding the person because it make
you feel 'uncomfortable'.
We read about and do our best to help with all of the horrific cases we come across on this forum. We do it because we care. We do it because we know that ignoring the ugly, painful truth isn't going to help prevent similar crimes. We do it because we can't pretend these things aren't happening, and that kind of pretending is why people know or believe they can get away with it.We do it because we can't bring ourselves to turn our backs on these victims that we've never even met!
I think we need to ask ourselves why we can't we do the same for the people in our lives struggling with depression or any other mental health issues? We go to some pretty extreme lengths in our case-related research here and we're passionate about it....sometimes even obsessively. We're comfortable discussing things like human decomposition with each other here, even over food, but if we bring it up with friends over dinner or having a few drinks together, they think we're morbid and ask us to stop because of how uncomfortable it makes them.
I've lived with serious mental ilnesses my whole life,and I know how we're treated by family and friends who get tired of our 'self-indulgence' and think we can 'just get over it' through sheer willpower or being more spiritually devout. I can't tell you how many close friends turned their back on me and completely cut me out of their lives with zero explanation. I've shared space and time with other beautiful souls with serious mental illnesses, and have a lot of maternal family members with diagnosed depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I know first hand how people who desperatley need professional acute psychiatric care are treated by the 'professionals' and how often they get turned away even after being escorted by police or ambulance after witnessing the suicide attempt themselves.
If I self present, honestly telling them that I'm actively suicidal, I'll get waved off without ever seeing a real psychiatrist... And I'll probably hear those same words about how the hospital isn't for people like me who just want a little holiday from life.
Seeking out help for yourself through the 'professionals' in a crisis doesn't mean you get it...Most of us can't afford to book ourselves into a private hospital, that starts at around 10 grand for 1 week.
We have some awesome campaigns here, encouraging us to use the well established websites to learn the basics, what kind of support is out there,how we can help ourselves and how we can help one another. We know about the free 24 hour lifeline number we can call and that we now how the choice of talking via phone, email, or in real time online. We're taught to reach out to our GP to arrange a mental health plan so we can all have access to quality mental health support. The problem is that most of us don't have a couple of hundred bucks to pay the entire fee, rather than just the gap. We have very few psychiatrists who bulk bill rather than charging a hefty fee, and then giving a rebate.
Not enough acute care beds, not enough (sane ) compassionate psych nurses , not enough affordable access to quality mental health care, and not enough government funding...But that all stems from the general public not knowing enough or caring enough to make some noise and demanding better, more or different from our gvt.
I've been discussing these awareness and suicide prevention days with my 10 yr old daughter who knows about my own journey with mental illness, and I couldn't believe it when she came home from school yesterday , telling me how she'd raised the topic with some friends and even a teacher. If
she can do it at 10, while having generalised anxiety disorder, any one can do it. I was even more surprised by what was shared with her because she'd started a simple, but meaningful discussion. One friend talked about being so depressed and alone last yr that she tried to hang herself with a skipping rope. A teacher shared the story about her own sister committing suicide just a few years ago, and how guilty she'd felt for not seeing any of the warning signs, and for letting it go whenever the sister said she was okay, when it was obvious she wasn't.
But she is honouring her sister now in the most meaningful way by sharing her experience, and letting kids know that it's not just okay to talk about this stuff, it's
important to talk about it and share genuine emotions, without attaching 'good' or 'bad' to any feeling.
Australian suicide facts and stats:
Investigation of suicide deaths in Australia
For a death to be considered a suicide, three criteria need to be met:
1.The death must be due to unnatural causes (ie injury, poisoning or suffocation) rather than illness;
2.The actions which result in death must be self-inflicted; and
3.The person who injures himself or herself must have had the intention to die.
When suicide is suspected, the case is referred to the Coroner for investigation. If the Coroner is not satisfied that all criteria are met, the death may be deemed accidental (if the Coroner thought there was no intention to die), or the cause of death may be recorded as undetermined (if doubts about intent cannot be resolved). Of course, if the Coroner thinks that the death was not self-inflicted, it may be classified as a homicide.
Apart from physical and forensic evidence, the Coroner may also use testimony from family and friends to determine the frame of mind and intent of the deceased. If there is any doubt, it is probable that the verdict of suicide will not be given.
This raises the possibility that actual suicide rates may be higher than reflected in the published statistics.
It can be particularly difficult to distinguish accidental death from suicide in cases of drug overdose and car accidents
I can personally attest to the inaccurate statistics when the coroner relies on testimony from friends or family....especially when it involves family members who care more about the family name and appearances than honesty and integrity. An inquest ruled my mum's brothers suicide as an accidental death by hanging in the 60's and a 2nd inquest in the 80's relied on the testimony of only 2 of 10 siblings -both of whom are hell-bent on protecting the family's 'good name' because they've traced their fathers bloodline back to some prince or royal dude that makes them feel that
they are of Royal importance. Talk about nutcases living in la-la land!
*Note: The coroner is constantly dealing with a huge backlog of cases classified as 'likely' or 'possible suicides' which means the most accurate statistics relating to suicide can take 2-3 years to become public. So expecting the police or media to release Amesha's MOD within days or weeks is asking a little too much.
1) In Australia, the leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 44 is suicide! Not drink driving. Not melanoma, or asthma, or diabetes or any kind of accidental or natural death.
2) The group with the highest rate of suicide is still made up of middle aged men.
3) Between 2011 and 2012 the suicide rate for our teenage girls (15yrs -19yrs) rose by a staggering 63%!
I'll leave it on that note.
https://www.ruok.org.au/
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/
http://www.copmi.net.au/
http://www.headspace.org.au/
You can like/follow and SHARE info and updates from these Australian support and advocacy groups on most social networking sites. The easiest and fastest way for us to spread awareness and make a difference. :grouphug:
"THE ABC is launching Mental As..., the network's biggest cross-platform programming event, for Mental Health Week starting on October 5.
http://www.news.com.au/national/bre...lth-in-spotlight/story-e6frfku9-1227054956315
The Australian ad for international suicide prevention day: 'Reach out and get connected'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD_HK_bYPQ0&sns=fb
I found the ad's 'behind the scenes' video more powerful than the ad itself..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlOcsrhOk1A
Look after yourselves and each other, and remember that it's okay to let people know when you
aren't feeling ok. I promise that it gets easier to talk about and getting it out of your head and into the world stops it from getting bigger.
Love and hugs, BWI