CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - #14

[zwiebel]

Snap! Get outta my head, Tamild!

 

[tamild]

Snap! Get outta my head, Tamild!

LOL! Hey, it's not my fault if great minds think alike:floorlaugh:

 

[zwiebel]

There is something daughter JuM has said about this period before the marriage too. About being dropped....maybe if I just think about finding it, someone will drop into my head and actually do the work of getting it?

 

[believe09]

For me this case hinges on the heated family meeting regarding the money and Bob's disappearance the next day.

I remember people asking me what made me so sure Casey Anthony was guilty and I would say "31 days." Sometimes it is just that simple, imo.

It isnt a coincidence, you know. Bob disappeared the day after a brawl over his money and before he could follow through on his own wishes to add Mrs Harrod to his accounts. His last known alive was reported by a family member. His family has vigorously pursued his money, but not so much his person. And then there is that very strange reward offered years after the fact rather than right a way....IIRC the first excuse offered for the run on the trusts was so that money could be freed up for a reward.

uh huh.

 

[zwiebel]

The other thing on the reward poster is that, besides LE's number, the daughter's PI number is given for tips and information. What has always worried me about that is the PI was asked just to report 'general milestones', according to one of the daughters in the court docs.

One of our posters explained what that means - a very basic, low-cost service for people wishing to fulfill the legal steps necessary to have someone declared dead. I always worry that tips might not have been investigated as thoroughly and exhaustively as they would have been, had they gone straight to LE.

I don't know anything about PI agencies though, or this particular one, so I'm not trying to cast aspersions.

 

[Cubby]

There is something daughter JuM has said about this period before the marriage too. About being dropped....maybe if I just think about finding it, someone will drop into my head and actually do the work of getting it?

Yes, I remember that post and will look for it.

I seem to recall JuM's posting about Bob just shutting them out and not buying anything for his grandson or great grandchildren the first Christmas after Georgia passed away. At least half of the whinning was about Bob not spending money on her offspring and her son's offspring.

I seem to recall a family member of mine who is about a decade older than Bob mentioning something about not celebrating holiday's the first year after a long term spouse passes. She and her husband celebrated 57 years of marriage before he passed and she waited a full year before celebrating any holidays. Perhaps that was the same tradition Bob was following for what he believed was a proper grief period.

Maybe someone else recalls a waiting period to celebrate holidays?

 

[Cubby]

Here it is, zwie.

Originally posted by Cloudajo:

Posted by JuM on another board on August 13, 2009. Gives insight into the amount of time they spent with Bob and how she felt.

-----------------------
Our father pushed us away around Christmas, he wanted time "to get in touch" with his feelings. It hurt all of us, we tried to respect his wishes but I would stop in now and then when I was down the hill and he would be happy to see us. It was a weird situation that we did not understand. We did however warn him of the POI taking advantage of him and he brushed it off. This is heartbreaking, the distance he created was so selfish. We found out that he purchased lavish gifts for POI and he could not believe she did not like the diamond bracelet so he had to go back and get her something else for her. He did not even acknowledge his own grandson and great grandchildren. In a nutshell that is what happened until we came down to meet F he wanted us to be an instant family again. The difficult situation of just losing our mother and then D pushing us away was insane. As if our emotions can be shut down and then turned back on in a snap.

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - #13


And she claims she wants for nothing, author of the mile long memorabilia list. :shakehead:

 

[zwiebel]

I'm not sure about any baptist mourning traditions, or Missouri (where Bob spent his formative years) ones. But I do know that a member of my family who lost the one they loved found Christmas impossible to cope with for many years, let alone the first. Their loved one had not died at Christmas, it was the reminder that the lost one would never be there again to celebrate with them.

All they wanted to do was be quiet and be left in peace at that time. To have asked them to send out gifts wishing people happy Christmas, when they were feeling such pain.......we didn't even consider it. It was explained to the children about lack of gifts. Even they understood.

 

[zwiebel]

'In touch with his feelings' at Christmas. First Christmas without his wife of 56 years.

Is that a bad thing, then? Jum seems to be implying it is, as though she was left alone because of it. When in fact, she had a husband, son, grandchildren, daughter in law and sisters to turn to and celebrate the holidays with her.

????

 

[zwiebel]

The implication there seems to be as well, that the hairdresser took JuM and the grandkid's place at Christmas, with Bob. I'm not so sure that's true. Didn't the hairdresser have a family of her own she would have spent the holidays with?

I bet CAExile would know. I bet Bob spent most of his time with him, in fact.

 

[zwiebel]

'He was a friend, husband, father and grandfather. He was also a good man.'

http://paulkestes.blogspot.de/2010/07/bob-harrod-missing-one-year.html?m=1

Bob's best friend and the person who saw him much, much more often than his daughters, in the year before he disappeared.

 

[Cubby]

I was never under the impression my family member's grief period was due to her religious beliefs. I could be wrong, but it was my understanding the grief period was proper etiquette among that generations age group.

Perhap's it was a tradition carried over from Europe, if not practiced here in the states. Bob's grieving during the first Christmas after Georgia's passing is quite understandable to me. I really don't know why it was so hard for JuM to understand, other than perhaps everything is always about her and her feelings. She does seem to get upset very easily when someone's feelings differ from hers.

 

[Seajay]

He had just lost his wife of 57 years. Those were a lot of Christmases they shared before Georgia passed. Anyone would need a mourning period and a readjustment time before going on with their usual holiday traditions. I can't even imagine how hard that was for him that first year. It probably would have been extremely painful for him to be in a family setting with the big gap in the place Georgia was.

If he did anything at Christmas involving the BL, it was probaby because that's something he had never done, it wouldn't remind him of his Georgia. Maybe the BL lent him a sympathetic ear and he was grateful for that and wanted to get her a gift?

What was obvious was that Bob needed the break from is family. Maybe he needed to just concentrate on himself and deal with his loss without others buzzing around him, vying for his attention/money. Maybe he just needed to regain his footing before having to deal with their demands again.

To me it's obvious the daughters did not respect their father or understand him. Had they, they would not have made this time he needed a huge issue and whined about not getting gifts that Christmas. And they say he's selfish?????? O. K..........

 

[tamild]

Here it is, zwie.

Originally posted by Cloudajo:

Posted by JuM on another board on August 13, 2009. Gives insight into the amount of time they spent with Bob and how she felt.

-----------------------
Our father pushed us away around Christmas, he wanted time "to get in touch" with his feelings. It hurt all of us, we tried to respect his wishes but I would stop in now and then when I was down the hill and he would be happy to see us. It was a weird situation that we did not understand. We did however warn him of the POI taking advantage of him and he brushed it off. This is heartbreaking, the distance he created was so selfish. We found out that he purchased lavish gifts for POI and he could not believe she did not like the diamond bracelet so he had to go back and get her something else for her. He did not even acknowledge his own grandson and great grandchildren. In a nutshell that is what happened until we came down to meet F he wanted us to be an instant family again. The difficult situation of just losing our mother and then D pushing us away was insane. As if our emotions can be shut down and then turned back on in a snap.

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - #13


And she claims she wants for nothing, author of the mile long memorabilia list. :shakehead:

BBM

Okay. So does this mean that they were NOT interested in having a family with Fontelle at that time? It kinda sounds that way to me.

 

[zwiebel]

It does sound a bit like that, doesn't it? Well spotted. I never noticed that before.

So when Bob reached out, it could have been family pushing him away?

But daughters have always stressed how happy they were at Dad finding Fontelle??

 

[zwiebel]

This is just reminding me that a substantial number of my family members were spirited away by good looking Americans in uniform after WW11, taking their -fairly strict - ideas about mourning periods with them.

 

[tamild]

It does sound a bit like that, doesn't it? Well spotted. I never noticed that before.

So when Bob reached out, it could have been family pushing him away?

But daughters have always stressed how happy they were at Dad finding Fontelle??

BBM

This is where I've been going with my questions. I know they've said that, I don't buy it, but I might if it were one of the daughters who presented the "love story" to the media. Otherwise, would the "love story" enraged one of them? Indulge me for a minute, if you will...

In at least one persons mind, Bob shut out his family. He proceeded to spend time and money with another lady. Then, next thing you know, he's talking about getting married to someone ELSE...someone who he's always loved. THEN, before anyone has a chance to stop it, he actually marries her. THEN someone has to sit back and watch as the media tells this fairy-tale love story. Might someone think this is a giant slap in the face, not only to his family, but to the memory of someone's deceased mother? As if all this isn't enough, Bob says he's going to add this new wife to his accounts? Wow...that's some powerful motive if you ask me.

 

[Cubby]

It does sound a bit like that, doesn't it? Well spotted. I never noticed that before.

So when Bob reached out, it could have been family pushing him away?

But daughters have always stressed how happy they were at Dad finding Fontelle??

BBM. I would say this comment is about as truthful as the timeline.
Reading it again, kind of reminded me of the old Calvin Klien jeans commercial, but in this case it would be: 'Wanna know what comes between me and dad's/grandpa's money? Nothing'.

 

[Cubby]

BBM

This is where I've been going with my questions. I know they've said that, I don't buy it, but I might if it were one of the daughters who presented the "love story" to the media. Otherwise, would the "love story" enraged one of them? Indulge me for a minute, if you will...

In at least one persons mind, Bob shut out his family. He proceeded to spend time and money with another lady. Then, next thing you know, he's talking about getting married to someone ELSE...someone who he's always loved. THEN, before anyone has a chance to stop it, he actually marries her. THEN someone has to sit back and watch as the media tells this fairy-tale love story. Might someone think this is a giant slap in the face, not only to his family, but to the memory of someone's deceased mother? As if all this isn't enough, Bob says he's going to add this new wife to his accounts? Wow...that's some powerful motive if you ask me.

You are not alone with those thoughts. I've often thought the same.

 

[zwiebel]

BBM

This is where I've been going with my questions. I know they've said that, I don't buy it, but I might if it were one of the daughters who presented the "love story" to the media. Otherwise, would the "love story" enraged one of them? Indulge me for a minute, if you will...

In at least one persons mind, Bob shut out his family. He proceeded to spend time and money with another lady. Then, next thing you know, he's talking about getting married to someone ELSE...someone who he's always loved. THEN, before anyone has a chance to stop it, he actually marries her. THEN someone has to sit back and watch as the media tells this fairy-tale love story. Might someone think this is a giant slap in the face, not only to his family, but to the memory of someone's deceased mother? As if all this isn't enough, Bob says he's going to add this new wife to his accounts? Wow...that's some powerful motive if you ask me.

I think a giant slap in the face is exactly how it was seen, despite the protestations since, that they were all really happy. If that was true, they would not have turned on Fontelle so quickly, and they would not have been harping on, all these years later, about the fact their Dad needed other company after their Mom passed. And how wonderful Mom was, and how not wonderful Dad was.

Daughters seem content to say one thing, then another that completely contradicts this, and be completely oblivious that anyone might notice.

For example:

"Our Father means the world to us"

he wanted to keep her (Mom's) dentures "because he thought they had gold in them"

ETA: First statement made one day after Bob went missing. To TV
Second made nearly four years after, when the facade has slipped a lot, imo, and cameras are not watching.