ITA, this was a girl in emotional turmoil, IMO. I def can see the conflict you are talking about. I believe, in many ways, her SM portrayal of herself was somewhat of a "wannabe", iykwim, than a portrayal of who she was. I think she wanted to sound worldly and mature and not too many people her age could pull that off and I don't believe she did either.
Being brought up in a Christian family, doing missionary work, etc, etc. I cannot help but believe this was a girl divided. I wish I believed she ran off. I don't think anything can be ruled out. I do think she would be horrified, and frightened, to know her family knew about the 'other Heather'. And that could make her afraid to reach out to let them know she's okay. However, I don't believe, in any way, that she is somewhere, of her own accord, not knowing what her family is going through.
I guess that's part of my doubt. Her father has made it pretty clear that he loves her, no matter what, and wants her back more than he wants to live himself. And that he would protect her, no matter what. I think that's what makes me feel if she did walk away, she would have kept tabs from afar, and would never have stayed away, not making contact, seeing the pain everyone is in. They have made it crystal clear that, to them, she is definitely worthy.
