Family Dynamics

[Auburnmommyof2]

I've been out of town and am trying to catch up. Seems like this thread isn't much about Family Dynamics lately. Maybe posts about the girlfriends of AF should be moved?

 

[believe09]

Thanks, Auburn! I am glad you said something cause I was about to post but thought I was in the wrong thread...

OK-back to family dynamics....it was a rough day for the Mazzone-Jacobsen's as you can imagine....they waited and waited to find out that they need to wait some more. During the hours that passed I spoke with many of them and found that sibling Mike is more than despondent. He called me with a cry for help, so I thought I would share some of it so we can figure out/anticipate steps in future cases. I am NOT an authentic Victim's advocate-I just play one on Websleuths...

Tawni's birthday is looming large in his mind-he plans on spending the time at her memorial with some cards and flowers. But he stated that he was absolutely unable to carry on the burden of his sadness with what happened to her, how he feels about it and how poorly his mother is behaving as a result of her own guilt. He is tired of being alone and stated that he had no where to turn-we talked for a long time and when he had to go, I immediately called Christine2448 freaking out! Det Lancaster is working on finding Mike a victims advocate, but I was afraid he could not wait, so I called Mike's emotionally closest relatives and told them he couldn't struggle any longer. They are flying out to see him next weekend and they promised to keep him hanging on.

They are all carrying their own grief, guilt and burden-the man who loves Mike most kept saying to me "I don't know what to say to the poor kid-he's been through so much and I love him so much, but I don't know what to say to him." They are all so filled with rage and it has no place to go.

I learned a whole lot of stuff about everyone which I will post because some is very, very relevant to what we are trying to accomplish here-I just have to get it straight in my mind.

 

[believe09]

I would like to ask Christine and Adnoid to open the old public forum for tomorrow so that we can express our thoughts regarding Tawni's birthday in our own way. Mike Mazzone has joined WS and would like to upload his birthday card to her...what do you guys think??? Should we just have the one thread where we can post??

 

[Teresa Larson]

I agree believe It would be nice to do for Tawni's birthday. I think by all of us posting a birthday greeting to Tawni It might help the family especially Mike. This is going to be a very tough day for everybody. Let us know what you found out too believe Thanks

 

[Fairy1]

Thanks, Auburn! I am glad you said something cause I was about to post but thought I was in the wrong thread...

OK-back to family dynamics....it was a rough day for the Mazzone-Jacobsen's as you can imagine....they waited and waited to find out that they need to wait some more. During the hours that passed I spoke with many of them and found that sibling Mike is more than despondent. He called me with a cry for help, so I thought I would share some of it so we can figure out/anticipate steps in future cases. I am NOT an authentic Victim's advocate-I just play one on Websleuths...

Tawni's birthday is looming large in his mind-he plans on spending the time at her memorial with some cards and flowers. But he stated that he was absolutely unable to carry on the burden of his sadness with what happened to her, how he feels about it and how poorly his mother is behaving as a result of her own guilt. He is tired of being alone and stated that he had no where to turn-we talked for a long time and when he had to go, I immediately called Christine2448 freaking out! Det Lancaster is working on finding Mike a victims advocate, but I was afraid he could not wait, so I called Mike's emotionally closest relatives and told them he couldn't struggle any longer. They are flying out to see him next weekend and they promised to keep him hanging on.

They are all carrying their own grief, guilt and burden-the man who loves Mike most kept saying to me "I don't know what to say to the poor kid-he's been through so much and I love him so much, but I don't know what to say to him." They are all so filled with rage and it has no place to go.

I learned a whole lot of stuff about everyone which I will post because some is very, very relevant to what we are trying to accomplish here-I just have to get it straight in my mind.

Thank you, believe, for keeping us filled in. My heart just aches for Mike and the other members of Tawni's family who are struggling with this tragedy. There is so much more to this than Tawni's passing and it will take more than the average grief counseling to get past it and move on. Mike is especially vulnerable being all alone in AZ. I pray he can find the strength and support he needs.

Love the idea of having a public thread for Tawni's birthday! Maybe we can reopen the Tribute thread?

 

[VASHLEY88]

I think a tribute thread in honor of Tawni's birthday would be wonderful. Especially for Mike, and for the rest of us to have a chance to wish her a happy birthday.. although I wish it could be a happier one. Poor Mike, I can't even begin to fathom what he is going through and I wish he had someone at home to console with him.

 

[believe09]

For all of you who PM'd me your concerns:

I notified Det. Lancaster, and I touched base with his family to see if they contacted him last night. They did talk to him, they agreed that he is struggling and they are trying to convince him to come back EAst. Mike cannot go anywhere however until he faces the Court in October.

I am going to call him this AM and assess his mood-based on that we can take the next steps for him.

 

[believe09]

I spoke with Mike at length-he indicated he had an appt this morning with his physician to address some of what he is dealing with, then he would be going to the memorial, then to work, then dinner with roommates or girlfriend then home to sleep the rest of the day away.

I will check in with him tomorrow...

 

[believe09]

Tawni's father is Mike Mazzone Senior. His brother, Scott, was just picked up for murder two days ago by the Mass State Police. Scott Mazzone and his friend murdered a convicted pedophile who allegedly raped the son of the friend.

http://www.examiner.com/State-New_Hampshire.html

http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080903/GJNEWS_01/709035414

 

[believe09]

OK, dear friends-I had a long heart to heart with Mark Jacobsen, Deb O'Sullivan's brother. He said he has been trying to log onto WS for some time now because he wanted to post directly regarding what a terrible childhood Tawni and Mike Jr had and what a poor excuse for a mother Deb was. I let him know I would share what was relevant in his eyes with the rest of you:

• he said that Deb never had any maternal instinct whatsoever, and once Brian O'Sullivan came into the picture he demanded that she pick between her children and him, and she chose Brian.
• he said that Mike Sr. was a blue collar guy who would not win any father of the year awards, but he thought it was pretty admirable how Mike Sr. hopped on a plane immediately when Mike Jr. called on him.
• he indicated that the most positive male relationship Tawni ever had was with her Grandpa Jacobsen who was truly a father to her. Grandpa Jacobsen never ever stopped wondering where his granddaughter was and asking about her until he died two years ago.
• he indicated that Tawni was so starved for affection, that she equated compliments from boys and men as love so she was constantly being hurt and disappointed in her relationships with males. She was tough in a way, but very easily taken advantage of because underneath it all she was so sweet and trusting.
• he has a hard time believing the prostitution angle, not because he doesn't think she was sexually active, but because she was so meticulous about her self, her appearance, her grooming etc...he doesn't think she would expose herself to just anyone.
• he said that Mike Jr. suffered the most in a way because Deb has never stopped demanding things of him rather than parenting him.

 

[Angie4b1g]

I wish there was something I could do for Mike. Kudos to you, believe, for being there for him.

 

[VASHLEY88]

OK, dear friends-I had a long heart to heart with Mark Jacobsen, Deb O'Sullivan's brother. He said he has been trying to log onto WS for some time now because he wanted to post directly regarding what a terrible childhood Tawni and Mike Jr had and what a poor excuse for a mother Deb was. I let him know I would share what was relevant in his eyes with the rest of you:

• he said that Deb never had any maternal instinct whatsoever, and once Brian O'Sullivan came into the picture he demanded that she pick between her children and him, and she chose Brian.
• he said that Mike Sr. was a blue collar guy who would not win any father of the year awards, but he thought it was pretty admirable how Mike Sr. hopped on a plane immediately when Mike Jr. called on him.
• he indicated that the most positive male relationship Tawni ever had was with her Grandpa Jacobsen who was truly a father to her. Grandpa Jacobsen never ever stopped wondering where his granddaughter was and asking about her until he died two years ago.
• he indicated that Tawni was so starved for affection, that she equated compliments from boys and men as love so she was constantly being hurt and disappointed in her relationships with males. She was tough in a way, but very easily taken advantage of because underneath it all she was so sweet and trusting.
• he has a hard time believing the prostitution angle, not because he doesn't think she was sexually active, but because she was so meticulous about her self, her appearance, her grooming etc...he doesn't think she would expose herself to just anyone.
• he said that Mike Jr. suffered the most in a way because Deb has never stopped demanding things of him rather than parenting him.

That just hurts my heart so much to hear this. I could see her being easily taken advantage of, especially since she was such a beautiful girl and boys will say anything to have their way with a gorgeous young lady like Tawni. How could her parents not shower this sweet girl with love and kisses and hugs? Did they tell her they were proud of her? Did they make sure she knew how beautiful she was everyday? Your babies need those things, and to deprive them of that.. you might as well tie an anchor around their neck and throw them in a river. I hope they realize what they have lost, this poor baby who only wanted someone to love her. It comforts me to know she is in heaven with grandpa. She can finally be with the one person who loved and cared about her the most.

And Mike. Poor guy. I don't even know what to say, because I know there is nothing I can say to make the pain go away, or bring Tawni back. All I can say is that I hope there is a little room in his heart for comfort that Tawni is happier now than she has ever been. I wish I could just reach into the sky and pull Tawni down for just a second so Mike could hold her and give her one last hug on her birthday. Thank you for letting him lean on you, believe.

 

[Vask]

Coming from a girl who thought she'd never amount to anything as a mother (and regrettably I've missed a lot of my child's life because of it).. I'd LOVE to give this woman a piece of my mind. :furious:

• he said that Deb never had any maternal instinct whatsoever, and once Brian O'Sullivan came into the picture he demanded that she pick between her children and him, and she chose Brian.

 

[believe09]

I just spoke with Mike Jr-he seems to have received the help he needs for the short term, and family will hopefully take up the slack long term. He wanted to tell me what he wrote on Tawni's card in case any of you sleuthers read it at the memorial and thought it was a suicide note!!!! I thought it was funny in a twisted way. He said he signed it "See you soon" because that is always what he wrote in her cards. He said he always gave her a stuffed animal and flowers on her birthday.

He was telling me his two year plans in life among other things-and how he is considering going home to his Uncle Marky and starting a business with him once October has come and gone.

 

[Lucy's mom]

Good lord. These poor kids never had a chance. I wish I still lived in Southern California...I would drive there this weekend to visit him. I'm glad that he has the help he needs for the short term, but it sounds like Mike will be needing some long-term help very soon. I wish his mother was there to show love and support, but I guess that's not going to happen. I remember when they went to dinner, I thought that might be a step in the right direction but I think too much time has passed and there's too much anger there. And then Mike probably feels horribly that Tawni has been there this whole time. I wish I could give him a hug!!!! I hope he knows we're all here for him!

 

[ArizonaGiGi]

Oh I don't know whether to say I'm sorry to Mike or to applaud his brother for taking a useless off the streets and putting him where he belongs.

Tawni's father is Mike Mazzone Senior. His brother, Scott, was just picked up for murder two days ago by the Mass State Police. Scott Mazzone and his friend murdered a convicted pedophile who allegedly raped the son of the friend.

http://www.examiner.com/State-New_Hampshire.html

http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080903/GJNEWS_01/709035414

 

[ArizonaGiGi]

That just hurts my heart so much to hear this. I could see her being easily taken advantage of, especially since she was such a beautiful girl and boys will say anything to have their way with a gorgeous young lady like Tawni. How could her parents not shower this sweet girl with love and kisses and hugs? Did they tell her they were proud of her? Did they make sure she knew how beautiful she was everyday? Your babies need those things, and to deprive them of that.. you might as well tie an anchor around their neck and throw them in a river. I hope they realize what they have lost, this poor baby who only wanted someone to love her. It comforts me to know she is in heaven with grandpa. She can finally be with the one person who loved and cared about her the most.

And Mike. Poor guy. I don't even know what to say, because I know there is nothing I can say to make the pain go away, or bring Tawni back. All I can say is that I hope there is a little room in his heart for comfort that Tawni is happier now than she has ever been. I wish I could just reach into the sky and pull Tawni down for just a second so Mike could hold her and give her one last hug on her birthday. Thank you for letting him lean on you, believe.

:clap: Very eloquently said Vashley

 

[Fairy1]

I'm so sorry to hear about Mike and Tawni's childhood, though I can't say I'm surprised. I'm hoping that the bright side to all of this will be Mike getting the help he's probably needed since long before Tawni went missing. Perhaps this whole mess will get him back to the family that loves him and he can finally begin to heal and move on. I can't imagine Tawni would want him to hurt anymore. And honestly, I take comfort now in knowing that Tawni isn't hurting anymore. There would likely have been a long line of bast+++s like William Walker in her life...:furious:

 

[Teresa Larson]

I think the whole family needs counseling. No matter how much help Mike gets if his mother doesn't get some counseling herself things will never work out between her and the rest of the family You can't only fix one part of this dysfunctional family and expect things to be OK with everybody. I feel very sorry for Mike. His life will never be the same.

 

[Fairy1]

I think the whole family needs counseling. No matter how much help Mike gets if his mother doesn't get some counseling herself things will never work out between her and the rest of the family You can't only fix one part of this dysfunctional family and expect things to be OK with everybody. I feel very sorry for Mike. His life will never be the same.

I agree, TL. But IMO - they need to write Deb off. She's made her choices and the entire rest of her family have suffered as a result. Maybe they can lock her up with WW...