I have a few thoughts to offer, as a local and as someone who lived through her mother's dementia and paranoia. . . . Reading local coverage since I live in Santa Fe and the NYT, I'm struck by the "friends" who hadn't seen BA or GH in months, even years. Also the fact that family members said they only spoke to BA on the phone, when they could reach her. So I have a theory, unsubstantiated, that something was wrong with BA. This happens in May-December couples where everyone assumes the younger partner will outlive or enjoy better health than than the elder partner. What if BA had an onset of dementia which caused more and more isolation? What if she was the one who crumbled first in the bathroom, and GH was trying to get help when he fell? I've read that only she possessed a phone. So if GH were panicked, mightn't he head for the door rather than search for her phone? This would explain why one dog was still in its crate, if this happened in the morning.
There is a desire for isolation I fully understand. Most of us in New Mexico feel this way. But there is also a paranoia/unhealthy isolation that can rule one's life as they move into dementia. GH had been dependent on BA, and if she had moved into a less-healthy state of mind, it would have been a slow process and he wouldn't have noticed or been alarmed -- until it was too late.