I have the opposite opinion.
IMO, can they really speak “man to man” when they’re not on an equal footing? At the moment all the power is in the hands of whomever took Nancy.
What you see as lukewarm, I see as tightly controlled rage, knowing his mother’s life is up to the kidnapper right now.
He’s career military but he’s a jet fighter pilot, not National Guard. I presume he is accustomed to being in control in dangerous situations, and to keep emotion in check so he can do his highly skilled job.
But right now, he is forced to “play nice” in order to have a mother again.
JMO