Family Dynamics

[Lucy's mom]

Goodness. I will pray that Deb turns around and at least lets Mike have some of her belongings. Her stance is probably that she is Tawni's only mother since she had many cousins and aunts. But Mike is Tawni's only sibling. Don't understand why she's hoarding everything since she seemed to be the only one taking no initiative to find Tawni.. sorry, I had to say it.

I agree with you 100%!

 

[believe09]

Oh I get the whole hoarding thing-Deb said that they had a moving van robbed and all of Tawni's things were stolen. ???? Boy these people have a perpetual black cloud....or something. Or tell a good story.

In any event hoard all you want, but Tawni was by all accounts DESPERATELY afraid of the dark and confined spaces-that is why they chose to cremate her when they had her exhumed. The idea was that some of her ashes would be spread in areas she loved...but now she is going to be relegated to a spot in the ground in her mother's garden that she never saw in a state she was never in? Families never cease to amaze me.

 

[fmw63]

In any event hoard all you want, but Tawni was by all accounts DESPERATELY afraid of the dark and confined spaces

Aha! Well that could easily explain why she jumped - crammed between two unfriendly people in a dark-colored car...

 

[Teresa Larson]

Oh I get the whole hoarding thing-Deb said that they had a moving van robbed and all of Tawni's things were stolen. ???? Boy these people have a perpetual black cloud....or something. Or tell a good story.

In any event hoard all you want, but Tawni was by all accounts DESPERATELY afraid of the dark and confined spaces-that is why they chose to cremate her when they had her exhumed. The idea was that some of her ashes would be spread in areas she loved...but now she is going to be relegated to a spot in the ground in her mother's garden that she never saw in a state she was never in? Families never cease to amaze me.

Is it even legal to bury that in her back yard? Why wouldn't she just keep her ashes in the urn in her house?? If she moves what will she do then? That's just crazy

 

[Cubby]

Is it even legal to bury that in her back yard? Why wouldn't she just keep her ashes in the urn in her house?? If she moves what will she do then? That's just crazy

It thought the same thing. I don't believe it is legal to bury human cremated ashes in a back yard. This is so sad, it really sounds as if Deb is punishing the rest of the family for questioning or not supporting her 100 percent.

On another hand, I have had the same questions and thoughts as Mike has, as I think most of us have. I hope and pray Mike is not relaying those thoughts to his mother, and only sharing them with those who are in his support system right now. While I agree with him, I do not see his sharing with his mom doing any healing, only putting further distance between the family.

 

[believe09]

It thought the same thing. I don't believe it is legal to bury human cremated ashes in a back yard. This is so sad, it really sounds as if Deb is punishing the rest of the family for questioning or not supporting her 100 percent.

On another hand, I have had the same questions and thoughts as Mike has, as I think most of us have. I hope and pray Mike is not relaying those thoughts to his mother, and only sharing them with those who are in his support system right now. While I agree with him, I do not see his sharing with his mom doing any healing, only putting further distance between the family.

He tells me he has had no contact with her since she told him she was keeping everything and burying the ashes in her garden.

 

[Cubby]

He tells me he has had no contact with her since she told him she was keeping everything and burying the ashes in her garden.

I thought that might happen again. What is happening with Mike Sr.? Are he and Mike Jr. still in contact? What about the victims advocate? Is Mike still working with that person? Believe, you have done a fantastic job here... far more than could be expected or asked for. However, darlin', you are not a professional therapist.... and I really think some of this should be dealt with in ways we here at WS are not capable of providing for this family. jmho......

 

[Fairy1]

My lord - this just gets sadder and sadder by the day. Deb obviously has her own agenda - both in terms of dealing with her hand in Tawni's death and in inflicting pain on her family. Sadly, there are many parents just like her everywhere. We are reading nearly everyday now that parents are turning their teenage children into hospitals in Nebraska. They cannot handle their responsibilites and choose to wash their hands of everything. It's pathetic. Parenting is not for the weak of heart and we all must play the hands we're dealt. I know Tawni was not an angel, but she deserved a fair chance and I believe Deb took that away from her when she took Tawni to AZ. She may have had a fighting chance if left with those who truly cared for her and she definitely would not have been in that car with WW and LDJ that day if she had been left where she was.

 

[Teresa Larson]

The parents and grandparents that are leaving their child or grandchild at the hospitals here in Nebraska are not shucking their responsibilities These children need help desperately and they have become more than anybody can handle. It's not like they just took them to the hospital because they didn't want them any more. I think it's better to do that than to kick them out in the street. If you want to check your child into a treatment facility here in Nebraska you have to have insurance or they will not accept them Which leaves the parents with a mentally ill child that is unruly or even sometimes suicidal.

 

[ArizonaGiGi]

The garden? How odd. I didn't even put my animals in the garden. I mean, I put mulch and fertilizer in there ya know. I don't think I would want to be putting that kind of stuff on my DAUGHTERS ASHES

I am speechless at this point.

 

[Cubby]

Any talk about changes in the safe haven law and/or insurance issues need to go to the appropiate topics in either the Political Pavilian or the thread regarding the Nebraska father who dropped of his kids.

Thanks all, this is for Tawni.

 

[believe09]

I thought that might happen again. What is happening with Mike Sr.? Are he and Mike Jr. still in contact? What about the victims advocate? Is Mike still working with that person? Believe, you have done a fantastic job here... far more than could be expected or asked for. However, darlin', you are not a professional therapist.... and I really think some of this should be dealt with in ways we here at WS are not capable of providing for this family. jmho......

I would never ever insert myself in a professional capacity-I do not give any of them advice other than to seek the appropriate help.

Mike is under a doctor's care and has been speaking with an advocate. He tells me his father is also under a doctor's care and has a counselor. Deb is twisting in the wind by choice, not for lack of resources.

 

[Cubby]

I would never ever insert myself in a professional capacity-I do not give any of them advice other than to seek the appropriate help.

Mike is under a doctor's care and has been speaking with an advocate. He tells me his father is also under a doctor's care and has a counselor. Deb is twisting in the wind by choice, not for lack of resources.

I didn't think you would... I should have been more clear in stating I was wondering how you are holding up yourself with all of this. :blowkiss:

 

[VASHLEY88]

I didn't think you would... I should have been more clear in stating I was wondering how you are holding up yourself with all of this. :blowkiss:

It's amazing, isn't it?

She sure is doing a fabulous job. Believe09 is a wonderful woman for doing what she does for Mike and the family. Yes, they are getting help outside of WS, with professional doctors and councilors, but Mike needs Believe09 because for the last 4 years, WE here at WS have been with Tawni before she even had a name, and although I'm sure he has a lovely girlfriend and other friends, the support and knowledge we have here is comforting to him and doing him a great favor, she is like our Mascot, she keeps us and the family's spirit up, haha. Believe does these self-less acts because she has a big heart and a lot of love and compassion within her. And Mike confides in her so much. Sure, things might be frustrating with the family dynamics and stuff at times.. but she has way too big of heart to throw her arms up and leave Tawni without her justice. And to let her be mixed with potting soil.. uughh.

 

[believe09]

Oh my land, lovelies, enough...:blushing:

You all are the glue-I am just the conduit at the moment....

 

[BeavisMom62]

Oh, come on Believe! I don't there there are enough accolades and kudos to bestow upon your bowed head! No, I'm serious though, you have been a wonderful friend and confidant to Mike and I'm sure he appreciates it. As we all appreciate everything you do, for Tawni and for the rest of WS! And a wonderful conduit you are, as well!

 

[believe09]

Mike indicated to me that he has been diagnosed as Bi Polar-I know we speculated that this might apply to Tawni as well...he feels a sense of relief being able to name some of what his life has been like these last 20 years...

 

[Cubby]

That's good news for Mike. Hoping he gets more good news today. Was hoping when anyone heard it would be posted.

 

[believe09]

He should be before the judge in the next hour or so...anything I hear I will post!

 

[believe09]

Mike received what was considered to be a very, very light sentence for his second offense. He is to spend 48 hours in jail with no chance at leaving early, then he has a work-release sentence for 45 days that could be shortened....basically 12 hours in, 12 hours out.

I spoke with one of Mike's attorneys who stated that having supporters in the courtroom was undoubtedly the key towards him receiving what is considered to be a very light sentence. He could easily have been doing 6 months solid behind bars. Adnoid was a big part of that, although I did my best to get him tossed from the courtroom by calling him constantly while the hearing was in process...oops.

An even better news-TLC will be FILMING Tawni's story in November or December depending on Mike's availability...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I would have loved it if he received house arrest or a simple fine-it wasn't going to happen. If he gets his 48 hours out of the way and then starts the work release, this does not have to go past Christmas. Prayers for our boy while he serves his time.