I completely agree that everyone in the department/workplace may not know of another's behavior. I've been on both ends of those types of revelations--shocked when others weren't' and completely unsurprised when others were shocked.
In my earlier post, I was referencing this case specifically due to the way BK's behavior with women has been reported. His interactions with women have been described as or insinuated to be commonplace and obvious. If those characterizations are true, IMO, his close colleagues (at least one comfortable to ask for a ride or advice) would have seen or heard evidence of that behavior. Of course, we may never know the truth.
~I skipped the episode so I did not hear the comments attributed to his sister. Did Dateline say that they spoke with her or that she confided in someone who knows someone who knows her? I would not shield my brother from LE if I believed he was a murderer, but I sure wouldn't tell a random reporter that I thought he was capable of murder.
The way I take it, the ask from the colleague to help her..happened early in their first semester. At best, this group of grad students knew each other from mid-August to late November, at which point, things were falling apart and people are said to have been annoyed with Kohberger.
Someone comes into her apt. early in the semester. She's scared (surely it was more than one incident, because the first time, most people would make a mental note and wonder if they were forgetful; then, it kept happening). Obviously, I'm just guessing, but that would be my initial theory.
She contacts police at some point (perhaps asking Kohberger to help at the same time).
Dateline did not say how they got the info from the sister, IMO. It sounds like the sister does not want to shield him. She told Dateline (either directly, which I assume; or indirectly) that he was all of a sudden wearing latex gloves, and using bleach to clean his car. The family knew of the murders and the white Elantra, she said. She began to wonder.
So scary, really.
I still don't think that just because some women were talking and upset about BK that all the women in the program had heard this salacious info. I only know my own experiences, and usually, women share such things with their closest friends first. He was, after all, part of their program. Collegial respect and everything. OTOH, surely everyone saw what the Dateline program calls his "know-it-all"ness. But that's not necessarily related to gender or sex. In my own case, I judged people on my own personal experience of them, and not anything else.
When I see Kohberger interacting with the Pullman cop, I see a man capable of acting polite and normal. In the classroom, well, people can be weird. I've never thought that an intense conversation in which a man who followed me out to the parking lot was weird. However, after I learned some facts about one of my colleagues in grad school, all that changed.
I'm not known for my real world intuitions about people, at all. Many academics are serious and unable to get out of their academic thoughts.
What we're hearing may be outliers (women who were more sensitive to his attitude). It is the workplace and a university, a lot of assume that others may be eccentric, but it takes quite a bit for me to brand someone as a "problem." I can imagine that a criminology program (like an anthro program) has some loners and eccentrics, and that people thought little about it - until the students in the undergrad classes started to complain (and when that one woman left the classroom in response to BK's "sexism," or whatever, I do wonder if people just dismissed her as too sensitive rather than figuring BK was a lost cause.
It could be either way, though, and I do appreciate the conversation with you around this topic. I am guessing the prof who organized the confrontation with Kohberger was thinking more like me (that everybody was normal and would play their proper roles in the fake trial). Unlike me, that prof might also have wanted more evidence as to how Kohberger responded to group pressure.
imo, jmo.